A Series of Queries, The Latest Unsolved Mysteries of BGII |
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A Series of Queries, The Latest Unsolved Mysteries of BGII |
Jun 29 2008, 12:48 AM
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Retired team member Posts: 490 Joined: 8-April 08 From: U.S.A |
While traveling the Forgotten Realms, I have come across some things that present some interesting questions.
1. The grand pianos have - count em! - eighty-nine keys. That's right, eighty-nine instead of eighty-eight. Not to mention that the BGII version begins on C and ends on E instead of beginning on A and ending on C. Is this some fantasy piano that was invented before the modern piano? Perhaps new piano makers found the extra key unnecessary? Franz Liszt would have had a ball having an extra key to hit and I'm sure Victor Borge would have had some comments about these most peculiar pianos 2. Taking a leisurely walk through the latest series of deserted tombs, it struck me: why are all the torches lit? And who is the mysterious entity who so conscientiously sees to the proper lighting of these oh-so-visited dungeons? Perhaps Korax would have the decency to do it, but he died in BG1 if I recall correctly. Maybe there's another amiable ghoul tending the graves. 3. The Cowled Wizards object to a cure minor wounds spell cast in the darkest corner of Athkatla's streets by threatening to inflict severe punishment upon the miscreants who transgressed the law. Why is this, considering that they care not if you put on a myriad of magical manifestations right in front of their very eyes in the government building? 4. Why do mages insist on wearing long robes even while hacking their way through a forest complete with fallen trees, thorny bushes, and whatever else annoying that resides there? Those who sell mage robes probably do great business. Irenicus must be the only wizard who has common sense (if no fashion sense). 5. Why are the sewers accessed through one of the ritziest sections of town? Perhaps the other sections are not so fortunate to have sewers? And while on this topic, why have the sewer entrances on a bridge the leads over a canal? One must wonder at the genius who planned the City of Coin. 6. How can vampires bite through solid steel armor? I can understand their being able to lay waste to unarmored party members such as mages and sorcerers, but they must have either extra strong teeth, a good set of dentures, or they have an awfully rich dentist. 7. Proficiency slots are needed to wield a club? Swordsmanship requires intensive training, but a club is, essentially, a baseball bat. I believe that these were also the preferred weapons before training halls were established which means that they should require no proficiency slots. 8. How can dragons hide themselves in human form? Sure, they can magically shape-change and fool everyone from a distance. But that breath! Anyone who ventured close would be floored instantly. Then again, perhaps this explains why Bel Dalemark's supply of breath mints was stolen... 9. How much illithium does it take to coat one mace of disruption? The answer is, of course, two-hundred pounds! Now I find this hard to believe, so my view is that, after modifying the weapon, Cromwell keeps the remaining 199 pounds to himself for workdwarf's compensation. 10. Why do shadows chunk? And why do they disappear as soon as there is light? Isn't light required for a shadow to exist? Lo! I sense these are no ordinary shadows! 11. Why can Garren Windspear travel all the way from the hills to Athkatla and back within eight hours? His name should be Windfoot, not Windspear. 12. Why are skeletons white when everyone knows that old bones turn yellow? Have they invented a bleaching compound already? 13. Why are mummies immune to normal arrows while skeletons are not? Arrow-proof embalming? Or kevlar rags? 14. Why can wizards cast hundreds of different spells by saying the exact same thing? Clerics have their own magic word, too (it starts out "Vita mortis" -- "Life of the body". 15. There are many, many giant spiders around Faerun. Where are all the rest of the giant insects? Wouldn't there be giant flies for the spiders to feed on? 16. Why are all bathtubs always filled with water? And CLEAN water, too. Evidently no one bothers to take baths. Perhaps they like to sail boats. I am sure I'll run across a lot more, too. Anyone else care to add some? -------------------- "Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box." - Italian Proverb
"I like criticism, but it must be my way." - Mark Twain "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright |
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